Life and All Its Intricacies

I began to compile my bucket list (a list of goals to accomplish before one kicks the bucket) a little over a year ago. I now have a folder in my room entitled "The Bucket Files", which currently holds my bucket list, results of a career test I took, my checklist for what I want my future husband to be like, college paraphenalia, and other future-related items. In addition to the Bucket Files, I also have a list of all the countries I want to visit, a list of future ambitions (potential career paths which are not found on my bucket list), and various other lists lying around my house in several of my many notebooks.

My problem is that I just want to do too much. I am way too ambitious for myself; every time I write a to-do list, thinking "Hey, this will be easy to finish!", I usually find that it takes me most of the day just to check off one of the items. Am I slow? Probably, and I often underestimate the amount of time needed to complete certain tasks. Take yesterday, for example. I had compiled myself a nice to-do list of things related both to school stuff I needed to take care of, and to extracurricular activities. I thought, sure, I can read two chapters of history, write a paragraph on Pericles' funeral oration, catch up on some math, write a letter, start my art homework, and write two emails in roughly ten hours - no problem! Ha. As it turned out, I managed to read one chapter of history and start on the Pericles paragraph, and due to family events (like dinner...) and an errand, that was it. You think that's bad? Wait till you see the plans I have for my life.

Currently, my bucket list is composed of the following:

• Become fluent in three languages. (Yes, English counts as one of them.)
• Learn to play the violin.
• Step foot in every country of the world. (Totally crazy, I know, but notice I need only step foot in every country - not necessarily spend any time there.)
• Spend 1 week in every continent.
• Travel into space. (As an ignorant passenger, not an astronaut.)
• Hug an orphan.
• Go skydiving. (If you want to come with us, let Lindsey or I know.)
• Go bungee jumping. (Whose idea was this...?)
• Sing in front of 1,000 people.
• Publish a novel.
• Travel to all 50 states. (Lindsey and I are planning an epic road trip in the summer of 2012. Again, let us know if you want to meet us at Disneyland.)
• Be able to do 32 fouettes flawlessly on pointe. (Darn, I forgot about this one...)
• Watch at least one Olympic event live.

And, of course, I'll probably keep adding things to the list. Notice that none of this has even begun to touch on marriage, family, or career. I did mention I was crazy, right?

So, for the most part, those are just my fun ambitions in life. But the other day I got thinking about what I want to remembered for. It didn't take too long for the light bulb to go on. I am such an optimistic idealist, and therefore pessimists totally escape my understanding. I love life and I believe that God has given me the ability to see beauty in the world, even in the midst of apparent hopelessness. So I thought, if even one person could tell me that I opened their eyes and helped them see the possibilities of life and all the beauty that's to be found in the world if we only look around - I think I would be satisfied.

Lastly, partly inspired by the devotional "Pure" by Rebecca St. James, I wrote my life mission statement in February: "With everything I am, for every day from now on, I want to use everything I have to glorify everything He is."

I don't want to look back at my life and regret not doing enough. And then again, is it even possible to do too much in your life? Is it possible to have too much fun or to love on other people too much? I don't think so. Nor do I intend to live like it is.