FREEDOM

Yesterday, I unsubscribed from the Official SAT Question of the Day emails, and it was one of the best feelings in the world. After two weeks of preparation and a week of taking practice tests every day, I am done with all things related to College Board - at least until next year's PSAT. I am left with approximately 45 days of school to cram into 11 days, before I start summer classes at the local community college - but nevertheless, no longer having to worry about the SAT is great.

I rolled out of bed around 6:45 yesterday morning and entered the cafeteria of the high school about an hour later. Being homeschooled, I have to say that being in the cafeteria was a weird experience. I don't think I've ever been surrounded by so many high schoolers before. I didn't know anyone and consequently felt rather lost, until we were all separated into our various rooms. Three hours and forty-five minutes later, I think I would have screamed if I had seen another critical reading section. But overall, it could have been a lot worse. I loved the sentence in which you were supposed to find the grammatical error that began with, "The loyalty of British families to certain brands of toothpaste..."

Anyway, after having taken five practice tests and attempting to write halfway decent essays for them, I thought I might post a few of said attempts. Here's the first one:

Assignment: Do we need other people in order to understand ourselves?

We are all human. That means that we are all essentially in the same boat. We have all laughed and cried, had good times and experienced tragedy. While our experiences, goals, tastes, and circumstances may be different, underneath we're really very similiar, and there are many ways we can learn from each other.

Can you count the times you've gone to other people for advice on how to deal with a certain situation? Most likely, you chose someone with experience in that situation. Before taking this test, I talked to several people who have taken the SAT to find out how they felt about it. I often talk to my parents or sister when I need advice in various areas of my life. Whenever I do something new, chances are high that I know someone who has already been through it. In this way, we can learn from each other.

Another way in which other people can influence us, whether consciously or not, is through the way they react to things. My best friend is an amazing listener and a peacemaker, and I've learned a lot by just observing her. My godmother is almost perpetually cheerful and possesses the desirable quality of being able to smile through any circumstance because of her knowledge and firm belief that God is in control. We can look around us and see characteristics we want to be known for personified in others, and then apply those qualities to our own lives.

Finally, we can learn from the way other people percieve the world and its possibilities. The pessimist can look at the optimist and realize that he needs to lighten up; the optimist can get a good dose of reality from the pessimist. The organized can teach the unorganized a few lessons, and, in return, can learn that a little mess is okay here and there. We can help each other out and open each other's eyes by sharing our personal perspectives on life.

We have a lot to learn from other people, if we would take the time to do so. We need each other not only to understand ourselves, but also to understand the big picture and the wonderful, crazy world we live in.

Have You Ever Wondered...

Do you find it difficult to classify yourself? Is it hard for you to determine if your main interest lies in the realm of math and science, or in the world of art and literature? Wonder no longer. Take the following simple quiz to determine where your loyalties lie.




What is the image above meant to portray?
a. A computer memory circuit.
b. An abstract coloring page.

{If you answered a, you are a math/science person. If you answered b, you are a very unscientific artist, and you are my type of person.}

Just for the record...the correct answer is A. But we artists are happy with our own portrayal, right? ;-)

Dancing to My Own Beat

(Another result of a writing prompt.)

It was Halloween night, around 10:30. The double doors swung inward with a bang, and in stepped what looked like Carabosse herself, in all her tawdry finery and gaudy makeup. A hush fell over the crowded ballroom as the glamorous newcomer stepped down four steps and onto the dance floor. She wore a smirk and looked straight ahead as she made her way across the room. She came to a halt next to the preps, who were all dressed up as Cinderellas or Rapunzels, and stood looking around at the rest of the frivolity.

The music started playing again and the buzz of conversation grew in volume. I casually made my way over to the punch bowl, where I was within earshot of the preps and the new arrival.

"Way to look like a goth, sweetheart," one of them was saying to Carabosse. "You don't exactly fit in with us."

"I'm trying something new, genius," Carabosse said, shifting her weight to the other side and flipping her long, dyed-black hair over her shoulder. "Different can be good."

"Different like evil? Come on."

"All right, cookie cutter Cinderella, let's see how many dances you get!"

Cinderella smiled her sweetest smile. "It's on," she said.

This was too interesting. I stayed by the punch bowl, looking nonchalantly around, keeping my ears tuned in to the preps' conversation. Ten minutes, then twenty, passed, in which I consumed three more glasses of punch than was really necessary. Finally, one of the geeks broke from his group and nervously approached Carabosse, egged on from behind by his equally geekish companions. "Since you seem to be without a partner," he began awkwardly, "would you -"

"Uh," she interrupted, holding up one of her bejeweled hands, "thanks, but no thanks." The rest of the preps dissolved into snorting laughter as the geek abruptly turned on his heel and acted as if he had been going to get a drink all along.

"Thanks for your support," Carabosse snapped at the preps.

"What kind of partner do you expect to get when you look like the wicked witch of the west?" Cinderella simpered, sipping daintily from her glass of punch.

"Well, I don't see guys lining up in front of you."

I finally sat down, tired of their pointless conversation and way too full of punch. I sighed and checked the clock; it was 11:03. The party had started three hours ago and I hadn't been asked for a single dance yet. I glanced down at my cocktail-length dress, which was made from pure white satin and accessorized with cubic zirconia jewelry. It was simple, but elegant. Or so I had thought before I saw all the other elaborate costumes the different cliques had concocted. The preps were all dressed as fairy tale characters. The athletes had reluctantly agreed to put on dresses,, all in bright shades of orange and red. The goths were in black. At least the cheerleaders were covered. The geeks were...the geeks. And then there was me.

I had never really belonged to any group. I had always tried to make my own statements and start my own trends, but being myself had never earned me much popularity. The most notice I ever got at school was a brief smile in the hallway, usually from one of the other noncomformists. But we never really associated with each other. I guess we were always too busy being different to notice that there actually were people out there who were like us.

"Excuse me," said a voice. I looked up. It was one of the - hold on. Which group did he belong to?

"Would you like to dance?" he asked. "I noticed that you weren't really talking to anyone. We might be about the only two people here without a clique."

"Well," I said, taking the hand he offered and standing up, "maybe we should start our own."

As we walked onto the dance floor, I couldn't help smiling to myself. Maybe being different had its merits. After all, Cinderella and Carabosse were still standing on the sidelines, watching as the music changed and my partner and I began to dance.

Someone Else's Love Story

(Background: this is the result of a writing prompt. Therefore, it is a rough draft and kind of weird. Enjoy. =D)

Falling in love was the first mistake I made.

At the time, it had seemed like a sensible idea. After all, I was fresh out of college and had my whole life in front of me, and my inquisitive relatives always wanted to know who that "special someone" was for me. It didn't take me long to get tired of their constant questioning and speculating as to who that lucky guy would be. So I went out into the world with the intention of finding that guy and giving him some of that well-deserved luck.

I found him, all right - all gorgeous twenty-six years of him. But sometimes I still wonder if I was ever really in love with him. It felt like it, but I was always on such an emotional roller coaster that I never quite knew what I really thought of anything. But he was exactly the type of guy that all my inquisitive relatives had always dreamed about, so I claimed him before any other girl had a chance. I guess I should have brushed up on my cliches first. Maybe I would have remembered that haste makes waste.

Well, here we are, six years later. I'm standing next to the grave of my ex-fiance, barely noticing the drops of rain that run down my face in the absence of the tears I would have shed. The rain is turning the dirt I'm standing on into thick mud, and my shoes are going to be ruined. But I don't care. I inhale slowly and deeply and take a look around the cemetery. Even the trees are dead and lifeless. How did it come to this? Why did I ever believe all of those fairy tale stories about how love was supposed to be? Snow White and Cinderella must have been liars, or idealists, or both. Life never happened that way for me.

My relatives were wrong. My love story cooled down fast and died way before its time. If I've learned anything, it's that life is too short to waste it on trying to live up to anyone else's expectations. Next time I ought to pay more attention to what I want and not try to live out my great-aunt's ideal romance. If I had done that the first time, maybe he and I would never have had that last argument that left us both distraught. Maybe he never would have run that red light if he had been thinking clearly. Maybe he would still be alive and able to make another girl's dream come true. He never fulfilled mine, but I couldn't hate him no matter how hard I had tried. And now it was all over and done with.

Now the tears are coming. I close my eyes to try to shield them, but it doesn't work. They fall anyway, mixing with the raindrops that soak the stone cross at the head of the grave.

Decisions, Decisions

Decisions are a huge part of our lives. Every day, every hour, every few minutes, you make some kind of decision. What should I wear today? Should I go out with this guy? To sleep or not to sleep? Can I afford this? Should I take a walk or eat chocolate instead? Should I really watch this? Do I have time for this? Where should I go to college? Who should I hang out with? What's really important to me?

Obviously, some decisions are more important than others. Decisions are easy for some people and excruciatingly hard for others. Take the following, totally unscientific mini quiz to decide what kind of decision-maker you are:

1. You're standing in Baskin Robbins, gazing down at the 31 flavors of ice cream. What do you do?
A. Immediately pick the first flavor that looks good.
B. Look at all the flavors, eliminate all but two, and pick one of them after 2-3 minutes.
C. Ask the cashier what flavor they would pick and go with their advice.
D. You've been staring at this question for ten minutes and still haven't decided what you would do.

If you chose answer...
A...you are a spontaneous and often impulsive decision-maker.
B...you make decisions fairly quickly, but you think it over before you act.
C...you prefer other people to make decisions for you.
D...you are entirely and hopelessly indecisive. Get help.

Some people sweat the little decisions and others can make major decisions in the blink of an eye. What's the difference between the two types of decision-makers? The latter is too impulsive, and the former isn't impulsive enough. So here are a couple of things that came to mind in regards to decisions.

Be you... Don't make decisions on what to wear, what to eat, how to act around certain people - the small, everyday stuff - based on anyone else's opinion. Don't follow trends - make your own! Can't decide what to wear? Combine a bunch of your stuff (layer shirts, add accessories or fun shoes, wear a skirt over leggings or jeans) to create a totally unique look. You crave ice cream, but everyone else is eating salad? Go for the ice cream. (But be sparing.) All the other peeps in your school/youth group/club/activity are being total jerks? Stand out and be yourself.

...but don't be afraid to ask for advice. Especially on major decisions (college, future spouses, etc.), it's usually a good idea to talk to other people and find out what their opinions are. If you really can't decide what ice cream flavor to pick, it's ok to ask the cashier or your buddy what you should do. Sometime's it's fun to take a risk and sample what other people like (even if the only benefit is that you discover that they're every bit as weird as you thought they were after all!). You might discover a new interest or favorite thing by branching out a bit.

Spontaneity can be fun, but...Some decisions ought not to be thought about too hard. For example, last year when we were in Portugal, we had the opportunity to climb about 40 feet of rock on a windy day. Had I hesitated any longer than I did, I might very well have said no. But that climb (whilst wearing flip flops, no less) was one of the most exhilarating things I have ever experienced, and I am so glad I didn't think about it too hard, or let any annoying distraction such as logic or common sense fill my mind. (Disclaimer: blog author is not responsible for death, injuries, or irritation resulting from mindless or stupid applications of the above reasoning to other situations.) But on the big decisions, spontaneity is usually a bad idea. Harder decisions require more thinking (our favorite thing to do, of course), but making the right choice is worth taking the extra time to think it through.

And definitely pray. There are a lot of tough decisions we all have to make every day, and we'll never have the strength or wisdom to make all the right choices by ourselves. Inevitably, you'll find that your parents' knowledge, your friends' knowledge, and your knowledge aren't adequate to making the hard decisions. There's only One who can see all the possible outcomes from your decisions and help you make the right one. All it requires is asking Him for His guidance and then following through, however uncomfortable the right choice is.

Good luck on making all your decisions, big or small, easy or hard. And in case you were wondering, my answer to the quiz would be B. I'm happy being me right in the middle of the decision-making scale.

Inspiration

"I learned…that inspiration does not come like a bolt, nor is it kinetic, energetic striving, but it comes into us slowly and quietlyand all the time, though we must regularly and every day give it a little chance to start flowing, prime it with a little solitude and idleness."- Brenda Ueland

I am one of those people who finds inspiration everywhere. I'm not always inspired to do something; sometimes inspiration just makes me feel everything more acutely. Inspiration is often how I get my best story ideas. I'll never forget one summer night a few years ago when my family was sitting on our back porch. It was a relatively humid night with a slight breeze. Everything was dark except for the candle on the wicker coffee table. Every so often, the flame would flicker violently in the breeze, but it never went out. For some reason, that was one of the most inspiring things I've ever seen. It got me thinking how sometimes real life is like that. If you really know what you believe in and why, any opposition you encounter in life is merely an obstacle meant for overcoming. The things that stand in your way might knock you around and get you down, but they can never put your flame out.

Random life lessons and story ideas are just some of the benefits to inspiration, at least in my opinion. And fortunately, I draw inspiration from absolutely everywhere:

• The wind whipping through my hair on walks, especially on cold days.
• Standing in the rain simply for the sake of getting wet.
• The smell in the air before it snows.
• How green everything is right after it rains.
• Gorgeous, heart-wrenching music.
• Sunrises, sunsets, late afternoons, and stormy skies
• Bittersweet stories

• Sweeping landscapes and vistas
• Fearlessness
• Fresh snow
• City streets at night when all the lights are lit
• Crisp, cold autumn days
• Dew on the grass on early spring mornings
• Love stories
• Dancing barefoot (or in Dance Paws)
• Designing practically anything
• Long talks with friends
• Sitting in Starbucks for long periods of time

I could go on and on. Those are just some of the places in which I find inspiration, and I am so glad I do. Life would be so much duller without that feeling I get when I'm really inspired.

A Heartfelt Tribute to My Amazing Sister

My sister is at college. AGAIN. She had the nerve to go off to Erie, PA for the continuance of her education at the beginning of this year, you see. Hey, I was actually getting along much better than I thought I would without her. We're best friends and do pretty much everything together. Now that we're seven hours and 360 miles apart, we still keep in touch almost every day through phones, email, and IM (I love technology).

But I have to admit that there's really no substitute for the real thing.

She left today to go back to Erie after her week-and-a-half-long "spring" break. It was a very fun break and included six or seven inches of snow, ice cream cones from Baskin Robbins, 70-degree weather, a game night (and other celebrations of her birthday), smoothies from Robek's, chick flicks and action movies, donuts from Giant, a speech and debate tournament, late nights and a very early morning (5:30 a.m.), and randomly awesome games. But it was too short. I had forgotten how much I missed having her around just to talk to and do random fun stuff with. No one else is there for me all the time; no one else is just a question away from playing a game or watching a movie. No one else understands me like she does. Yeah, that sounds like a cliche, but it's true. She and I are (to borrow another cliche) like two peas in a pod - almost exactly the same interests and almost exactly the same reactions to various situations.

I thought I was getting along pretty well. Truth be told, I still have not had any kind of emotional breakdown or strong reaction to her being gone, not since August. But today, at the end of her third break so far this year, I felt it the most - and the reason is, quite simply put, that she's my older sister and that we always have an absolutely amazing time together.

What makes my sister so awesome? Here are a few of the ways:

1. She randomly bursts into song, usually without prior warning.
2. She can do killer rabbit and spider impressions.
3. Her hair always smells amazing.
4. You do not want to be on the recieving end of her wrath.
5. People who call her a quiet person are gravely mistaken.
6. She's able to knock some sense into me whenever I need it, and even if I haven't asked for it.
7. She makes me laugh approximately every 15-20 minutes.
8. She thinks I'm weird (and she's right), but she still likes hanging out with me.
9. She still enjoys participating in activities some people would call "childish". Who cares if it's childish?!
10. We used to get into ridiculous fights about Playmobil root beer floats, pitchers full of orange juice, whose turn it was to get the mail, and whether or not I should showcase my cursive handwriting on the front of a thank-you note (she thought not). But we're past that now.
11. She's very encouraging and supportive, especially about my cursive handwriting. *coughs lightly*
12. Her pouty face makes me melt.
13. She can laugh over minor calamities or awkward situations, a quality which a lot of people seem to sadly lack.
14. I can totally be myself with her and never have to worry about what she thinks. It's really ok. She already knows I'm nuts.
15. She has the prettiest hair in the world.
16. And overall, she's pretty darn gorgeous.
17. She's very mature. Most of the time.
18. She has a little more common sense than I do, so we balance each other out pretty efficiently.
19. She's brilliant. Most of the time. ;-)
20. She's the coolest person I know.

Basically, I am so insanely thankful that God chose to put the two of us into the same wacky family. I can guarantee that the two of us are always going to have a peanut butter-and-jelly-type relationship - we'll stick up for each other and stick together, always.

Only four and a half more weeks till Easter weekend. I suppose I can survive.