Yes, it's that time of year again: National Novel Writing Month, from November 1-30, in which several thousand brave (translated: crazy) souls attempt to write a 50,000 word novel in a mere 30 days (http://www.nanowrimo.org/). Yes, I am one of them. The few. The proud. But I still think I was completely crazy.
The first and last time I tried this, two years ago, I ended up with a pitiful 2,000 words - the equivalent of about four pages. I decided it was hopeless and didn't even consider it last year. This year, however, I made several over-ambitious New Year's resolutions , one of them being that I would write a full novel in November.
Well, as the year went on, I began to despair of the idea - until suddenly I was reminded of it totally randomly while doing math one day late in October. I dug out the magazine that had given me the inspiration in the first place, read it over, and got inspired to try again.
So this year I decided to completely rewrite an absolutely pitiful fantasy novel I had finished in May 2006. I took out the long journey, incidents with dragons and old wizards, random encounters with mermaids, and villains obsessed with finding treasure. I also felt the need to cut out some humorous sections with the main character, Tyatsai, and her arch-enemy (whom she winds up being a personal slave for near the end) Enthon. They were kind of funny, but kind of tacky in a way, and they no longer really fit into the story. However, I will paste two of them here for your reading enjoyment:
Enthon returned the book to the shelf and sat down. He settled back in his chair, his feet on the table, and poured himself a glass of rum. "Ah-what a day!" he said, sighing in satisfaction. "My fortress is going well, I'll soon have Mount Olivent's treasure under my belt, my least favorite person in the world is my slave...life is good."
Tyatsai couldn't stand him any longer. Dropping the firewood she was carrying, she went over to Enthon and slapped him as hard as she could across the face.
Enthon, in fury and indignation, spit out the sip of rum he had just taken at Tyatsai, who dodge it coolly. It instead splattered onto the brocade window curtains, leaving a large brown stain.
Enthon cast a very ugly look in Tyatsai's direction, closed his eyes, and began to take deep, slow breaths.
"Now what are you doing?" Tyatsai said.
Enthon opened one eye. "These are my breathing exercises. I must commence them when you exasperate me."
And I thought that was worthy of being published?!
Several days after the fight, Enthon was slumped miserably on his throne. Tyatsai was bringing in more firewood when Loule [Enthon's third-in-command] stepped in, and with him, several insects. His nose ring quivered as he saluted. "All is going well on the construction, milord. The wall is almost complete."
Purposely forgetting her place, Tyatsai asked, "What wall?"
Enthon examined his fingernails and spoke to Loule. "You may tell Miss Falcons that some of the slaves are building a wall around a new compound to house consons. They will be trained to fight for us."
Loule looked bewildered as he turned to Tyatsai. "Some of the slaves are building..."
"I'm not deaf," Tyatsai replied coldly. "You can tell Enthon that consons cannot be tamed or trained, that they'll likely tear him to pieces, and that I won't care at all."
Loule turned back to Enthon. "Consons cannot be tamed..."
"I'm not deaf," Enthon interrupted. He glared at Tyatsai but couldn't think of a good reply.
Loule spoke again. "Sir, you have a fly on your head. I shall remove it." He stepped forward, but Tyatsai intercepted him, carrying a piece of firewood.
"I'll get it!" she exclaimed, and brought the wood down heavily onto Enthon's head. Loule's nose ring dropped to the floor.
Enthon flinched slightly but otherwise showed no discomfort or displeasure. "I beg your pardon, Miss Falcons," he said. "You may want to hold your firewood more firmly from now on. It may slip again."
Both Tyatsai and Loule looked confused.
Well, one can only hope that this year's efforts will turn out much better than that. :-) I will occasionally post excerpts as the month goes on, and will look forward to any brutally honest comments you might have on them.
The first and last time I tried this, two years ago, I ended up with a pitiful 2,000 words - the equivalent of about four pages. I decided it was hopeless and didn't even consider it last year. This year, however, I made several over-ambitious New Year's resolutions , one of them being that I would write a full novel in November.
Well, as the year went on, I began to despair of the idea - until suddenly I was reminded of it totally randomly while doing math one day late in October. I dug out the magazine that had given me the inspiration in the first place, read it over, and got inspired to try again.
So this year I decided to completely rewrite an absolutely pitiful fantasy novel I had finished in May 2006. I took out the long journey, incidents with dragons and old wizards, random encounters with mermaids, and villains obsessed with finding treasure. I also felt the need to cut out some humorous sections with the main character, Tyatsai, and her arch-enemy (whom she winds up being a personal slave for near the end) Enthon. They were kind of funny, but kind of tacky in a way, and they no longer really fit into the story. However, I will paste two of them here for your reading enjoyment:
Enthon returned the book to the shelf and sat down. He settled back in his chair, his feet on the table, and poured himself a glass of rum. "Ah-what a day!" he said, sighing in satisfaction. "My fortress is going well, I'll soon have Mount Olivent's treasure under my belt, my least favorite person in the world is my slave...life is good."
Tyatsai couldn't stand him any longer. Dropping the firewood she was carrying, she went over to Enthon and slapped him as hard as she could across the face.
Enthon, in fury and indignation, spit out the sip of rum he had just taken at Tyatsai, who dodge it coolly. It instead splattered onto the brocade window curtains, leaving a large brown stain.
Enthon cast a very ugly look in Tyatsai's direction, closed his eyes, and began to take deep, slow breaths.
"Now what are you doing?" Tyatsai said.
Enthon opened one eye. "These are my breathing exercises. I must commence them when you exasperate me."
And I thought that was worthy of being published?!
Several days after the fight, Enthon was slumped miserably on his throne. Tyatsai was bringing in more firewood when Loule [Enthon's third-in-command] stepped in, and with him, several insects. His nose ring quivered as he saluted. "All is going well on the construction, milord. The wall is almost complete."
Purposely forgetting her place, Tyatsai asked, "What wall?"
Enthon examined his fingernails and spoke to Loule. "You may tell Miss Falcons that some of the slaves are building a wall around a new compound to house consons. They will be trained to fight for us."
Loule looked bewildered as he turned to Tyatsai. "Some of the slaves are building..."
"I'm not deaf," Tyatsai replied coldly. "You can tell Enthon that consons cannot be tamed or trained, that they'll likely tear him to pieces, and that I won't care at all."
Loule turned back to Enthon. "Consons cannot be tamed..."
"I'm not deaf," Enthon interrupted. He glared at Tyatsai but couldn't think of a good reply.
Loule spoke again. "Sir, you have a fly on your head. I shall remove it." He stepped forward, but Tyatsai intercepted him, carrying a piece of firewood.
"I'll get it!" she exclaimed, and brought the wood down heavily onto Enthon's head. Loule's nose ring dropped to the floor.
Enthon flinched slightly but otherwise showed no discomfort or displeasure. "I beg your pardon, Miss Falcons," he said. "You may want to hold your firewood more firmly from now on. It may slip again."
Both Tyatsai and Loule looked confused.
Well, one can only hope that this year's efforts will turn out much better than that. :-) I will occasionally post excerpts as the month goes on, and will look forward to any brutally honest comments you might have on them.
4 comments:
LOVE it. :-) You're pretty awesome, you know? I laughed out loud yet again at those two passages. Seriously, I am nuts. I still can't believe the breathing exercises and the nose ring!
You ARE nuts. I blame those passages entirely on you. :-)
Hahaha! What can I say? You love it, and me along with it. :-D
Yes, well... :P
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